Years of financial planning and saving seemed to implode in on themselves this week when a dozen scenarios to drain my bank account were set in motion simultaneously. First I got a text message on Sunday from Chase fraud detection asking if I had spent $300 at an arcade. Not to stereotype hackers and cyber-thieves, but is there anything more stereotypically nerdy than stealing credit to blow at an arcade? I panicked and checked over all my bank statements. Luckily I wasn't liable for the charges, but I had to cancel my credit card and I still haven't received a new one in the mail, meaning I'll have to take one of my inferior credit cards with me on my trip and I won't be earning amazon points to buy sweet kindle books along the way :(
Next was a routine trip to the dentist, which I had paid for with a $29 Groupon and included x-rays, exam, cleaning and a $500 take home bleaching tray, so I thought I was being all thrifty. As a child my mom used to tell me I had strong teeth because I miraculously had zero cavities by the time I got to high school despite dismal brushing habits and non-existent flossing. My dental luck changed when I found out I had seven wisdom teeth, all of which had to be removed in a rather extensive surgery, and it's been all downhill from there. I had two cavities last year alone that I just finished paying off. Still, it was a surprise to learn at my visit that I had at least 6 cavities that the dentist recommended I repair (some of them were old fillings that are now decaying and need to be redone), each costing $150 - $175 if I signed up for a $111 dental plan offered through the clinic. Without this discount they totaled well over $1500. I panicked. I can deal with the pain and sensitivity of cavities, but any permanent damage is also a sign of ingratitude to my mom, who paid for braces on a single-mother/student budget when I was in high school and expects me to keep my smile perfect for the rest of my life. In the end my mom and I agreed that I should get a $50 fluoride treatment to slow the decay and pay for fillings in Europe this summer...
Then there was the Brazilian Blowout. I had a "Gift Certificate" for a Brazilian Blowout from Ohana Salon in Fort Collins that said "Gift Certificate - $50 - One Brazilian Blowout". I had received it in an open house gift bag, and it seemed weird that they would just give these treatments away, but the certificate looked pretty self-explanatory and I couldn't find any clues on the card that would hint at a different meaning. Maybe I had gotten the lucky gift bag with the treatment in it? Just to be sure, when I called to make an appointment I said, "I have a gift certificate I think for a free Brazilian Blowout...does that sound right?" The voice on the other end just said "Ok" so I made an appointment. I checked again when I checked in on Wednesday. I showed the receptionist the card and said, "This is for one Brazilian Blowout, right?" She said yes, so I sat down. My stylist, Kayla, was amazing. You could tell she was good because her hair looked awesome, and she had tons of helpful tips. She took me back and explained what I could expect from my treatment and asked if it was something I was still interested in. I said, "Well I have a gift certificate, so why not?" She spent two hours on my hair, and the whole time chatted with me about my trip. When she was done she excitedly asked for my blog address so she could follow us. As a matter of principle, I generally do not tip people unless they are earning minimum wage and rely on tips to make a decent living. For example, if I pay $60 for a massage, I think $60 should cover it. Unless you went to medical school you should not be charging $60 an hour, and even then it's dubious. But I really liked Kayla and she spent a lot of time on me, and since I had the gift certificate I was feeling generous. The receptionist asked me for one-fifty (for tax?) so I handed her a five and said to keep the change. She just looked confused and said, "No, one hundred and fifty dollars."
My jaw dropped open. "But I had the gift certificate?"
"The Blowout is normally $200, but with $50 off it's just $150."
I started to freak out and tried not to cry. I didn't have money for this, especially after the week I'd had, and I didn't even particularly want a Brazilian Blowout I'm just a sucker for free stuff. I started explaining that I never would have ever come in if I would have known the gift certificate didn't cover the cost, and said I had checked with the receptionist before my treatment to make sure it was covered. She said "I thought you were asking if it could be applied to one Brazilian Blowout, and it can." Well, obviously.
One of the girls offered a payment plan, but I pointed out that I wasn't going to get paid for the next nine months so no matter how generous the plan I still couldn't afford it. She went to talk to a supervisor and when she came back she offered to discount it to $100. I felt a little sick. I understood that Kayla had spent two hours with me and deserved to be paid, but it seemed that I had given the staff several opportunities to clarify the deceptive card. But it wasn't their fault - apparently the makers of the Brazilian Blowout had engineered these coupons (note: coupons are not gift certificates) to be misleading and the salons didn't have much of a say, and I guess I hadn't asked specifically "Does this card make the treatment free?" We would just have to cut out some of the excesses on the trip. I couldn't help but feel bitter thinking how much more I would have enjoyed a trip to Bali than my new luscious locks....
Seeing how disappointed I was the girl offered to just ask for $40 to cover materials. Still more than I've ever paid for my hair before ($25 every 3 months is excessive for me, especially when I'm in trip-saving mode) but it was a lot better than $150 so I agreed and left with my tail between my legs.
For the first few days every time I smelled the lovely scent from the treatment or felt my silky hair I felt guilty and moronic, but I'm gradually getting used to it. Kayla, if you're still reading my blog after I stiffed you for a very expensive treatment, you did a great job.
Sigh - I just can't wait to be roughing it in a tent on beach in a few weeks.
